Leaders’ Resources

Thanks for getting involved. You are part of a growing number of men who have had enough of violence against women perpetrated by a minority of men, and who are prepared to do something about it. We believe that most men living in Australia have a very good understanding of what it means to be a good, decent bloke and what needs to happen to end this violence. Let’s all think and talk about this and see what solutions we can find.  We can all be part of the solution.

How to use this website

The website demonstrates that a decent person rejects violence against women in all its forms, and that young men can choose to live a life free of violence. It has been designed primarily for use with small groups of boys aged around 15 years, preferably in a school setting, led by a male teacher (group leader).

Each group leader will find his own way to usefully discuss the issues involved in helping younger men and boys to find their sense of decency that is totally incompatible with violence against women.

However it is strongly recommended that Group Leaders download and read the Teachers Kit before commencing the program. Included in this you will find:

  • detailed session notes on how to run the program
  • general recommendations following the trialling of this program
  • advice on safety issues with running a group  

Click HERE to download the Teachers Kit. We advise that you refer to the kit during the sessions.

The program is discussion-based and works best in small groups of about 10 boys who have access to computers and the internet. 

It is designed to be run for a minimum of four  sessions, to cover the essential points. However there are enough materials to run the program over six sessions if time allows a good discussion of all the sections and following the many links. 

In brief, the four sessions are:

Session 1

Rules: Start with the rules for effective group discussion and the rules to keep the participants safe. Refer to the Teachers Kit for details.

Log in and Pre-discussion Questionnaire: Ask the boys to click "Pre-program Questionnaire" on the menu side bar. The boys then need to develop user names and passwords that are confidential and can be used for each of the 4 sessions. They will register as new users and they then log in to the questionnaire.

Introduction: Ask the boys to click on the Introduction side bar heading and read through the background and purposes of the site.

Definitions: Click on definitions and show the boys the range of behaviours that are considered abusive.

Statistics section demonstrate the extent of the problem. This is likely to motivate the boys to think about and discuss the issue of violence.

Myths page includes myths that are commonly used to justify violence or to trivialise its impact on girls and women. Discussing these myths can be a helpful part of the discussions of the "Situations to consider" section in session 3.

Session 2

Gender Matters: Click the side bar and together read through the definitions of gender.

Riddle: Who can solve the riddle? Explore the gender assumptions that make the riddle difficult.

Watch Tough Guise: This 7 minute preview clip of Jackson Katz' documentary Tough Guise produced by the Media Education Foundation (link http://www.mediaed.org/) explores how boys are pressured to rigid prescriptions of how to be a man. It is a good discussion starter about the link between gender identity and violence. 

Quiz: shows examples of gender inequality.

Read: The link to the exercise described by Jackson Katz in Macho Paradox: Why some Men hurt Women and How all Men can Help. It  demonstrates how the fear of violence impacts differently on men and women.  

Session 3

This session uses an interactive part of the website to start and structure discussions.

Log in: The boys need to click "Situations to Consider" section and enter their previous user name and password.

Situations to Consider: The responses  in this section are based in part on discussions with boys at Northcote Secondary College. The four situations can be discussed in turn and each boy chooses what he believes is the best response. There is also a "Cheat sheet" button which outlines general suggestions about safely intervening. The boys can discuss the circumstances in which each of these suggestions could be helpful. 

Session 4

Relationships: In this section, click on If you know someone (in an abusive relationship), for practical helping ideas.

Personal Stories: The boys can click on this section to read about the experiences of women and girls. There are two helpful links, (1) a link to women's real stories on The Good, the Bad and the Ugly website, and (2) video links offering two-sided stories on the That's Not Cool website.

Services: Click on the list of available services and focus on youth services.

Post Discussion Questionnaire: Ask the boys to log in again and complete the post-group discussion questionnaire.



Safety of the boys in your care is always the guiding principle for work with them.

In this website context, safety is addressed by:

  • Actively discouraging the disclosure of very personal information to the group
  • Clearly telling the boys who is available to speak individually with them if they have private issues they wish to discuss
  • Alerting appropriate authorities if you have concerns about the safety of any of the boys in your care
  • Always making the personal safety of the boys as the first priority when discussing actions they can take to end violence against women

More detailed discussion of these issues is available in the Taking Care of Your Group section and in the Teacher Kit.