Personal Stories

As the Statistics page of this website shows, violence against women has an enormous impact on society. Behind the statistics, there are real stories.

Any violence against women is a violation of their basic human rights to be safe and live a life free from violence.

Sometimes the violence ends in death. Phil Cleary has written about his 25 year old sister, Vicki, being killed by her ex-boyfriend, Peter Keogh, who waited outside the kindergarten where she worked and stabbed her to death when she arrived for work.

Read the transcript of Phil Cleary's 2003 interview 'Fighting for Justice' with the ABC's George Negus here.

Young Women's Stories

DVRCV's 'When Love Hurts' website also includes real stories from young women about their experiences in unhealthy and often violent relationships, including Lucy's below. Click here to read other stories like Lucy's.

Lucy’s Story:

What Happened: My boyfriend would always tell me that the only person I needed in my life was him. He also would tell me that he was the only one that would put up with me. I couldn't go anywhere without him being there, he would even get jealous of the people I worked with. I lost all my self confidence and all my friends because of his possessiveness and jealousy. He threatened to hurt me or himself if I ever left, luckily I managed to get out of the relationship unharmed. He physically abused me a number of times for no reason: I was dressed 'too sexy', I had on 'too much make-up', I told a friend on the phone that I saw an old guy from school down the street. Just little things triggered him off - he was jealous in every way.

How I coped: I learnt to read his moods and go with the flow. I learnt to say the right things to get around his anger, I never tried to provoke him or fight back. I shut myself off from the rest of the world and tried to pretend that everything was OK.

How the situation changed: I just sort of woke up one day and realised that I wasn't happy with my life. I knew that something had to be done but I was always too scared to fix the problem. I told him that I was moving back home to be with my family. He was really angry at first and accused me of wanting to leave him to be with another guy. In the end he practically threw me out and tried to make me feel like the bad person. I left as soon as I could. He would often call me in the middle of the night to make sure I was in bed, but after a few months the calls stopped and I haven't heard from him in months.

What helped me to get stronger: My family and friends (that I thought I had lost because of him) helped me out a lot. I went back home to live with Mum and Dad and my friends were always supportive. They all really helped me see that I'm not the bad guy, that I was emotionally and physically abused and that it was wrong.

What I would say to someone who is being abused: Don't listen to your partner's hurtful words, they are only striking out to make you feel like the bad person. Be strong, tell your family and friends what this person is doing to you. If they are physically abusing you report it straight away even if you feel threatened to tell someone. There will always be help out there for you. You are not the bad person, you have been abused and this is wrong.

New Technologies Abuse Stories

The American website That's Not Cool has a series of animated videos about (1) controlling and intrusive texting, (2) pressure for intimate photos to be sent by phone, and (3) breaking into personal social networking pages. Each scenario includes two videos, exploring different perspectives. Click here to access the 'Two-sided Stories'. There are also suggestions for dealing with abusive behaviour. The site has been sponsored and co-created in the USA by the Family Violence Prevention Fund, the Office on Violence Against Women and the Ad Council.